Dating, the internet and the over 40′s. Technology lends a hand

“I was so depressed at that time. I seemed to take one step forwards and 2 steps back. Getting my head round how to go forward was frustrating me compleletly. I was at a loss”.

This is how William, a 53 year old history lecturer from a famous university city in the east of England, describes how he felt when, five years after an acrimonious divorce, he couldn’t seem to get ‘back into the game’ and find a companion or someone to build a relationship with.

“All of my friends were in a relationships. It was hard for them to know what to do with me – should they try and fix me up with a blind date or just watch me stay miserable? Well meaning matchmaking was disastrous and I asked friends to stop, it was becoming embarrassing for me and for the poor women they thrust in my direction. I didn’t really want to develop a new interest in yoga or sports or whatever, it just seemed false. And as for hanging round in bars and clubs. . . . forget it! I was at a real loss”

William is typical of a very large body of people who have reached a certain age in their lives and find that they are alone for the first time for, in many cases, decades. Just how do people move forward and find new friendships perhaps leading to romance and finding a new partner, to share and enjoy their lives with? It is not easy. Like William, trying to find a meaningful relationship in a bar or club is a long shot. Most of the single people are youngsters – young enough to be a daughter or a son. Placing an ad in the local paper’s lonely hearts column can be embarrassing when people read it and suss out who placed it. Hardly private.

Traditional lonely heats organisations have such a negative image, almost as being the last resort of the chronically desperate, which puts many people off.

This is where modern technology has found a perfect answer to these dilemmas.

The growth of the internet coupled with the amazing processing developments with online databases has revolutionised the dating industry in the last few years. Now, for the first time, with complete privacy, someone can cast out their net amongst other like-minded people of the opposite sex which have been cleverly filtered to match exactly what you are seeking in a prospective partner.

It doesn’t end there either. Hiding initially behind a ‘username’ someone can interact with a prospective ‘date’ like never before. It is possible to converse in online texting chat, swap photographs, even video and audio files before deciding whether to take the next step. All from the comfort and safety of their own homes. This is further enhanced by the arrival of sites which cater exclusively for dating for the over 40′s

On a mature dating site, a person can confidently and simply find new friends, companions and lovers from the security of their own homes without the risk of making a fool of themselves or spending lots of time going down dead ends like William. Many sites, such as , have many thousands of prospective ‘dates’ in their database throughout the world. Many are free to join and browse, so my advice, and William’s is “what are you waiting for. . . there’s nothing to lose, go for it!’

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